Friends Keep Secrets

For the first time ever, we take calls from people all over the world who need help finding love, keeping love, progressing love, spicing up love, and in one case, getting love to flush the toilet after 30 years of marriage. Today we answer all your burning questions: Is being real too early a problem, or is that how you find the right person? How do you know if you’ve found a forever Benny Blanco & Selena Gomez kind of love? How many instances of eye contact with your kickboxing instructor are enough before you actually have to speak to her? What is the ideal post-coital snack? And if your girlfriend is a Cancer, how do you love her correctly? Fortunately Selena happens to show up to coach Benny through his response on that last one. Please join us for this truly special episode. Realness is king! Thanks for watching. Thanks for calling. We love you! And we respect you. What happens: 0:00 teaser 0:25 benny & dave are unicorns 1:43 are we qualified to give love advice 2:50 meeting our callers 3:37 is being…

Bethenny Frankel says the things about celebrities that most people would say to their friends, except she says them on a public platform to millions of people. And after today we completely understand why people like watching her do it. She has a very strong sense of self, she’s not afraid to be who she is, and she’s extremely charismatic. Benny already knew all of this because his mom talks about Bethenny basically every day, while Dave came in knowing almost nothing about her with zero preconceived notions and very quickly realized he loved her too. Today we also discover that Bethenny created the skinny margarita, find out whether she capitalized on it, taste the very best chicken salads Los Angeles has to offer, learn how to make a supermodel snack, and attempt to determine whether Bethenny is in fact the Michael Jordan of Jewish women. And somewhere along the way, we became friends. (Hopefully this means we’re one step closer to visiting her at her beautiful home in the Hamptons.) Either way, thanks…

GaTa has been coming to this house since long before there was a show happening in it. And despite us knowing this man for years, there are apparently still major pieces of GaTa lore we were not aware of. Lil Wayne once woke him up from a nap and told him to get on a song. He has a song with Kendrick Lamar. He has considered shaving his head as an acting rebrand. He gives himself pep talks in the mirror. And now he’s a dad, which is especially meaningful to him because he never had one himself. Today we revisit the events that occurred one morning in this very house, just days before GaTa and Dave started filming DAVE, that could have ended everything before it started. We love GaTa. A man who has spent a lot of his life hyping other people up, but today the tables turn, as we get to hype up the world’s greatest hype man. Thanks for watching us hang out with GaTa. We respect you! What happens: 0:00 gata's favorite foods 1:19 someone's here 2:00 missing a whole tooth type 3:37 would gata get a facelift 3:51…

Today we are taking on the very important task of trying to find love for Benny’s mom, Sandy. We scoured Los Angeles for the cream of the crop, the very best single men over the age of 55 in this city. These are not actors. These are men. Men looking for love. And we have to say, we were blown away by this group of men. As for Sandy, she’s looking for someone responsible, smart, has a sense of humor, dedicated, loyal, and kind. Tall would be nice, but they don’t have to be tall. She wants a best friend. Someone to spend her time with. And maybe there’s a world where a man walks through the door and it’s just love at first sight. Honestly, him being able to walk at all is apparently a very strong selling point in Sandy’s book. In this episode eleven men come over, Sandy meets every single one of them, and we do everything in our power to let a love bloom. At the end of the day, it’s really just about human connection. Thanks for watching us try to find Benny’s mom a best friend. We respect you! What happens:…

Gwyneth Paltrow came over today and it turns out we have a lot of Gwyneth Paltrow-related questions. This is the woman who introduced the world to yoni steaming and conscious uncoupling. A woman whose impact on culture is so specific, and so memorable, that we actually spent $600 of our own money to acquire a discontinued vagina candle on the black market. Today Gwyneth answers all of our most burning questions: Why’d she start Goop? Did she start the weird celebrity baby name trend? And why can’t Dave get the caesar dressing placed directly inside his Goop chicken caesar salad wraps? To be clear, he’s nitpicking only because he’s so passionate about the brand. In fact, Dave is such a genuine Goop fan that he was already eating it before Gwyneth arrived, but wants all of you to know this is not an ad, even though Benny is apparently a Goop investor, which does feel like a minor conflict of interest on some level. Anyways, thanks for watching! We respect you! What happens: 0:00 cometh gwyneth 1:52 hereth…

You might know Julia Louis-Dreyfus from Seinfeld. You might know her from Veep. You might know her just by knowing her. To be fully honest with you, we were all a little nervous today because of how important this woman is to our lives. For Benny, watching Seinfeld was a religious experience every week. He used to have a dog named Larry David. Kristin used to watch Elaine every day for confidence. Dave is actually from the Seinfeld coaching tree of comedy. So really, even this show you're watching right now would not be what it is without Seinfeld existing. And one of the biggest inspirations for us was trying to capture that feeling of a group of friends just hanging out. Well, today Julia comes over and does exactly that with the three of us, and what can you say about that except it's an honor. We were all very starstruck but we think we mostly held it together. We love Julia! Boy are we thankful she came. Thanks for watching us hang out with one of our comedy idols. We respect you! What happens: 0:00…

Bryan Johnson is the longevity man. He has spent years measuring basically everything there is to measure about his body in an attempt not to die, and now he's brought his partner Kate Tolo over to measure us. This is concerning because we have been living very differently than these people. Bryan doesn't drink, doesn't eat at restaurants, goes to bed extremely early and has a list of 200 things that kill you in life. Kristin would like to know if she can still have wine and eat ten pounds of strawberries. Dave would like to know if sex holds value. Benny would like to know if Bryan ever sees another health man coming up behind him and wants to sprinkle a little microplastic in his smoothie. Along the way we eat a full Bryan Johnson meal, hear what prompted Bryan’s viral “just had sex with Kate” tweet, and find out how old Dave’s brain is (although he did smoke a little bit of weed beforehand, so maybe take the results with a grain of salt). The more we learn, the harder it is not to respect what these two…

You may know Jake Shane as an octopus reviewer. You may know him from his podcast & Netflix show Therapuss. And at least one internet commenter knows him as demon twink Labubu. Well, before today Dave had never met Jake and didn't know much about him or his past. But that’s all about to change. Before Jake leaves today, Dave will have tasted his first octopus tentacle, connected over the importance of “laying a base” before a big night out, and significantly expanded his understanding of modern gay sexual power dynamics. By the way, now that Jake is our actual friend we can personally attest that he is incredibly funny, cool, and very, very genuine, regardless of what that one internet commenter said. We also played rose and thorn. Thanks for watching! We respect you! What happens: 0:00 intro 0:22 excited for shane 3:05 jake's here 3:33 hitting a pitch perfect note 3:55 jake's past with octopus 4:50 philly people 5:26 dave tastes his first tentacle 6:39 judging books by their covers 8:22 jake's dating life…

Today for the first time in Friends Keep Secrets history, we've left the house and hit the streets, with the goal of convincing one random stranger to enter our home and be interviewed. Honestly we were not prepared for how many people said no. We just weren't completely psychologically prepared to deal with that level of rejection, especially in our own neighborhood during a heatwave. But in our darkest hour, something truly magical happened. The universe aligned. They say you should never get in a stranger's car, but today we did exactly that, and then we let that stranger inside our house. The afternoon that followed ended up exceeding our wildest expectations, as we were introduced to not one but two unbelievable new talents. So lock in and prepare for an unforgettable multimedia experience, and if you see us wandering around your neighborhood someday, consider stopping and letting us into your vehicle. You just might be our next mystery guest. We respect you! What happens: 0:00 intro 0:26 searching for…

This episode is about the biggest questions there are. We’re talking God, souls, reincarnation, fortune tellers, aliens, death, consciousness, cults, the afterlife, atoms and jury duty. We may not have concrete answers to many of these questions because ultimately nobody knows anything, but it’s hard to deny that something could certainly be afoot. Much respect to all organized religions (though it shouldn’t ever cause war). Thanks for watching! What happens: 0:00 intro 1:02 the mail 1:51 jury duty 2:57 swearing on the bible 3:47 do you believe in Gawd 5:18 disasters & tragedies 6:16 fear of dying 7:51 did God create Jupiter 8:53 do you believe in heaven 9:47 judaism 11:40 dave's fortune teller story 13:35 benny's fortune teller story 15:02 the point of life 15:37 life outside earth 16:24 reincarnation 18:00 what are we supposed to be doing 19:41 starting a cult 22:04 dave's cult pitch 23:09 kristin's cult pitch 24:07 benny's cult pitch 26:27 atoms 27:10 do plants have consciousness 27:44 do dogs have…

Kenny G, our parents made love to thee. Honestly the smooth jazz station they did it to would not even exist without Kenny G. This man still practices 3 hours a day, he still has the hair, and today he woke up at 5:15am just to get his workout in before he came to our house. He can hold one note for half an hour without ever taking a breath. Does it require this level of unbelievable intensity to be this smooth? Or is this merely a man who has never truly tested his limits? Dave intends to get to the bottom of this, and many other things, on today’s episode. Thanks for watching us hang out with Kenny G. We respect you! What happens: 0:00 intro 0:58 is kenny g's hair still good 1:50 smooth jazz impact 2:35 how kenny's first song blew up 3:47 the only guy who reminds dave of himself 4:18 explaining dave to kenny 5:20 explaining kristin to kenny 5:57 explaining benny to kenny 6:57 kenny's starbucks money 8:28 chatgbt 9:09 being called a dick for being factual 12:10 hoarding discontinued hair cream 14:04 kenny's…

We got Wayne. The original, the godfather of everything we listen to, the ultimate intersection of lyricism and swag, one of the best rappers of all time no question. We’ve been waiting for this day so long we don’t even know what’s gonna happen, Benny's body might disintegrate. We have so many questions for this man. What was it like getting signed by Cash Money at age 11? Was Wayne the first Lil? Or at least the first big Lil? How did he record songs in jail, just, logistically? How did he discover Drake, what are the details behind that story? Does he ever feel like the chosen one? Who eats less healthy, Dave or Wayne? Why is the Sixth Sense his favorite movie of all time? What’s the real truth about ancient aliens? And why can't he look at milk? As a bonus we discuss best practices for crowdsurfing and Benny tells us about the time he was hospitalized by Eric Andre. Thanks for watching us hang out with Lil Wayne and Lil Twist. We respect you! What happens: 0:00 intro 0:25 waiting for wayne 0:58 wayne…

Today we cooked up a great episode, and we mean that in every possible sense you could imagine. Our guest is Matty Matheson, a chef who can cook Michelin star level but can also make something super approachable with heart and love. Benny puts Matty’s steakhouse among the top 1 or 2 steakhouse experiences of his entire life and the food is only where it starts. Matty is an actor. He gets voted most fashionable. He has a clothing company. He has a cookware company, he sells pans with a wait list. So when Matty comes to the house, Dave, who admits he is not a chef, decides he is going to cook for him and force him to rate his cuisine. Please have a seat at our table and prepare to feast upon this truly delicious hang with the one and only Matthew Matheson. Thanks for watching. We respect you! What happens: 0:00 intro 0:22 we have a chef coming 1:07 chef or actor 1:30 benny's food idol 2:07 he's here 2:37 matching outfits 3:23 dave has never had baloney 5:05 encased meat 5:45 mexican chicken 6:18 two cooking…

Hunter Biden comes over and it gets real presidential in here. We know he’s not a president in any way, but he’s the closest we’ve ever had to a president on this show so Dave spends a lot of the episode trying not to get too political even though he’s not even sure if it’s fair to say that Hunter is a political person. It turns out Hunter has no secrets anymore and is willing to talk about anything. You want to talk about crack cocaine? He’ll talk about crack cocaine. He’ll also tell you all about getting his entire digital footprint stolen, what the White House is really like, his challenge to cage-fight Don Jr, getting sued by Melania for a billion dollars, whether aliens are real, whether his teeth are real, and whether Joe Biden would ever come on this show in sweats. Plus his story about meeting Melissa and marrying her 10 days later, and the mystical, magical moment between them that saved his life. After that, Dave and Benny convince Hunter to hop on the autotune and he convinces us to get in the…

Blake is our first baller we’ve had on the show and an absolute pleasure of a man. Being around a man like this, you can’t help but have questions. Was he born exceptional, or did he become exceptional? Does he miss the thrill of taking a big shot? Could he have gone pro in any of the other sports? Who’s the hardest guy he ever played against, in terms of fear? Did he ever use his sweat to his advantage in a game? Has he seen all of his teammates naked? And why are the locker room showers still built so the whole team can see everything? Why would it still be like this? We investigate all of these questions and more. Thanks for watching us talk to Blake. We respect you! What happens: 0:00 intro 0:25 our first baller 2:10 was blake born exceptional 3:32 the number one fourth grader 4:08 lob city 4:41 does blake have demons 5:21 retiring after 9 surgeries 5:55 sleep anxiety 6:35 pregame rituals 7:35 the biggest thing that would impact a game 8:13 hack-a-deandre jordan 10:42 what's the deal with traveling 11:39…

Today at our house, Bryan Cranston and Aaron Paul are the ones who knock. If you’ve seen Breaking Bad you get that reference. If you haven’t seen Breaking Bad, I think you’ll still enjoy this because Bryan & Aaron are the best men you could ever meet, but just be forewarned that we do end up spoiling a lot of Breaking Bad, and a little bit of The Wire if I’m being honest. These guys are two best friends who made one of the best shows ever together. Are they better best friends than Dave and Benny? Let's look at the facts at hand. They spent years together on Breaking Bad and then started a mezcal business because they missed each other. Also Bryan is getting his shoulder replaced and he's giving the old one to Aaron. It's not a competition but we can all agree this is a best friendship operating at a very high level. We talk to them about life after being on the biggest show ever, how Bryan approached his iconic crawl space laugh, Aaron dreaming as Jesse, and Bryan & Aaron’s marriage tips. It’s one of our…

This episode might be a little shorter than you were expecting. But so is life, and that’s what you start to realize when you’re in your thirties. Your thirties might be the time when the body starts shutting down and kids start coming out of you. You may start asking questions: Is reality satisfying enough? Have you misplayed your hand? Do you believe in free will? Where does the pee come out of a woman? The 30s are a time to reflect and take it all in. Thanks for watching. We respect you! What happens: 0:00 intro 0:21 work crushes 2:08 freezing contest 4:31 fear of the silent moment 6:23 thirty five 7:02 the thirties conversation 7:34 the life-changing dynamic of having kids 8:05 parenting benny 14:53 having fun in your 30s 17:13 the end of life 18:06 foley artist 18:45 the second mountain 19:55 dave's rep for selfishness 22:45 visual turn-on pictures 23:27 free will, luck & atoms 26:32 bathroom logistics 27:38 urinals 30:06 urine holes 31:32 honeymoon 31:59 projection micro-battle Show socials:…

Does being a UFC champion automatically make Sean O’Malley a better overall athlete than Dave? That’s what we’re all wondering. Because obviously Sean is unbelievable at UFC. He’s fast. He has big hands. He can cut from 160 to 135 pounds. He can get beat up by grown men in Arizona, cry after practice, and then go back the next day. And he’s about to fight at the White House. These are all strong points for Sean. Nobody is denying Sean has points. But can he ball? Does he have unbelievable hand-eye coordination? Is he more athletic in every combine version? I mean the dribble is not what you would expect from the best overall athlete in the room. So where does that leave us? Sean is clearly one of the best fighters in the world. But best overall athlete in this room? I think we need more data, but judge for yourself. Thanks for watching. We respect you! What happens: 0:00 intro 0:23 our first fighter 1:15 a branding perspective 2:53 sean “lil dicky” o’malley 3:57 getting hit 4:54 never fought as a kid 5:52…

Jason Sudeikis has no sense of smell, and Dave thinks he may personally possess the one scent powerful enough to activate it for the first time. If that’s not enough of a tease for you, what about finding out Benny’s favorite place to cry, how to write two #1 songs in one night, the best response when your kid starts asking questions about death, and what exactly Dave plans to do with Jason, the laxatives he ordered online, and a bag. You'll also get to see an Emmy winner and absolute pillar of comedy play PIG in our kitchen. We love Jason! Thanks for watching. We respect you! What happens: 00:00 intro 00:19 optimizing every bite 01:33 meeting jason sudeikis 01:53 no sense of smell 06:46 an idea for an activity we could do 08:09 chuck tension 10:39 an outfit-based question 11:45 anxiety 12:35 nair & laxatives 13:12 honest parenting 15:12 immortalizing your parents 16:54 crying on camera 21:57 crying in real life 23:18 on your feet 25:26 ted lasso 27:44 a gun has been introduced into the scene 28:44…

Halsey comes over. Her name is Ashley, we call her Ash. Did you know Ash used to throw parties so people would like her and then hide in the bedroom like Gatsby? Did you know she has to get an Airbnb in Japan and become someone else for a little bit before writing an album? Did you know she can draw you perfectly, in seconds? We put this last one to the test with some art supplies from the garage. Dave prefers to paint and he can stroke genius every now and then, just be warned that if you watch this episode you will witness a work of art that you can’t help but be both shocked by and in awe of. You’ve been warned. Thanks for watching us talk to Ash. We respect you! What happens: 00:00 intro 00:22 kinda tired today ngl 01:21 she's here 01:50 halsey or ashley or ash 02:31 house party story 05:05 bathroom story 06:38 the party life 08:03 the driving force of misery 09:39 lupus 10:20 high school 11:09 the tumblr experience 13:03 blue hair 14:17 less famous 16:30 chemo 19:25 inspiration 21:18 big "i can draw"…

People’s Sexiest Man Alive 2021 Paul Rudd comes over. The ageless man. America’s sweetheart. Ant-Man. Jobin. A man who has been in basically every classic comedy movie from our lifetime. We talk about acting, candy, anxiety, Marvel abs, Antiques Roadshow, whether Paul ever gets mad, and the best possible thing to say when your friend’s movie is bad. Thanks for watching. We respect you! What happens: 0:00 intro 0:27 cracking skulls 2:56 people’s sexiest men alive 4:03 ant-man abs 5:46 candy 6:23 teeth 8:18 the ageless man 8:58 pressure to be extroverted 10:57 does paul rudd ever get mad 12:13 benny cab stories 17:44 clueless 22:00 friendship 24:15 wanderlust / our idiot brother 25:31 paul’s perfect day 29:21 foods you discovered late in life 30:15 paul’s dying meal 30:59 police encounters 33:39 getting punched in the face 36:00 when your friend's movie sucks 36:41 watching yourself 40:31 i love you man 41:20 jobin 41:37 shayeb 44:20 future goals 45:20 anxiety 46:20 antiques roadshow Show socials:…

This episode is all about fears... What would you do if an intruder invaded your home? What if your plane crashed? What if you and your partner suddenly became sexually unaligned? Would you be completely rocked? If so, this is the episode for you. Thanks for watching - we respect you! What happens: 0:00 intro 0:32 fears of intruders 4:09 fear of flying 11:00 marshmallows 17:25 fear of heights 20:04 scary music 26:08 the worst way to die 27:04 dave’s biggest fears 32:14 accents 35:21 screams 38:29 sex fears 42:39 silence Show socials: https://www.instagram.com/friendskeepsecrets https://www.tiktok.com/@friendskeepsecrets https://www.x.com/FKSpodcast https://www.facebook.com/FriendsKeepSecrets/ https://friendskeepsecrets.com Hosts socials: www.youtube.com/@bennyblanco https://www.youtube.com/LilDickyRap https://www.instagram.com/itsbennyblanco/ https://www.instagram.com/lildickygram https://www.tiktok.com/@itsbennyblanco https://www.tiktok.com/@lildicky https://x.com/ItsBennyBlanco…

Finneas comes over and we go deeper than you're probably used to. We talk about childhood separation anxiety, songwriting with Billie, graduating a fake high school with a diploma written in ketchup, the OCD rituals Dave's parents bribed him to give up, the most time-efficient way to attain enlightenment, tofu, humanoid robots, and our weddings (past present and future). Later Finneas gets on the Wurlitzer and improvises a genuinely beautiful song about Kristin's ChatGPT habits. This man is such a musical genius it might make you mad. Thanks for watching - we respect you! What happens: 0:00 going deeper 2:09 Finneas arrives 3:14 separation anxiety 6:10 Spirited Away 8:21 OCD rituals 10:20 origin stories and hair 13:15 old music discoveries 14:55 performing live 15:47 releasing songs vs holding them back 17:05 old music part ii 19:20 when Finneas first saw Dave 20:21 Finneas’s mom on Friends 21:06 acting 23:05 getting engaged and married 26:05 tofu 28:34 colorblindness 30:00 gymnastics 31:09 high school 34:44…

Barry Keoghan comes over to hang. We talk about acting, fame, dating, social media’s impact on fame and dating, how he approaches roles, and that ending scene in Saltburn. Things get a little serious then fun as we bounce between career highs, personal life, and some questions that probably shouldn’t be asked but are asked anyway. Thanks for watching – we respect you! What happens: 0:00 freestyle 1:00 tasty surprise 2:07 Barry arrives 3:34 public commentary 7:34 relationship in the public eye 12:34 skin condition 14:40 addiction and sobriety 15:25 near-death experience 18:30 bunchies of Ed Sheeran 19:57 hair and Beatles 20:30 fighting 21:05 journey into acting 21:45 buying parents stuff 23:10 the Saltburn ending 28:20 prosthetics on “Dave” 31:02 creative feedback 33:25 acting 36:33 the joker 38:35 acting part ii 40:16 health and ADHD 42:20 boxing 44:00 food and european chocolate 44:55 post-breakup life 47:02 candy formulas 48:42 Barry’s career beginnings 51:30 friends!! This episode is sponsored by…

WARNING: This episode depicts cannabis use, which is legal in California but illegal under federal law and in many jurisdictions. You are responsible for complying with all applicable laws. Viewer discretion is advised. Wiz Khalifa comes over for a very special 4/20 episode! We talk about what people actually call him in real life, his face tattoos, and how he became one of the most recognizable rappers in music. Things get young, wild and free as we discuss raising kids, the blog era of hip hop, rap beef, and clenching vs pushing at the climax of you-know-what. Thanks for watching - we respect you! What happens: 0:00 Wiz comes over 1:05 Wiz's real name 2:30 taking a Khalifa 3:30 clench or push 8:24 when Wiz met Benny 9:22 rap battles 14:40 Kanye 18:06 sobriety and having fun 19:55 having kids 24:28 self-exploration 27:23 man vs. machine 29:26 being uninhibited as an artist 31:56 singing in rap 34:46 tech and the next generation 39:33 Benny's burning questions 44:02 muay thai 50:06 best and worst day 52:06…

Maybe we got overconfident after inventing this brand new form of multimedia entertainment. We thought coming up with another genius invention would be easy for us but we realized we don't know anything and we don't know how to do anything. Have you ever tried to be inventive? It's harder than it looks. Oh - but Dave does a full-on freestyle and at least he’s good at that. Thanks for watching - inventors and non-inventors, we respect you! What happens: 00:00 Layup Line Freestyle 03:49 Intro 04:17 Who invented the dental floss toothpick 05:24 Dental dams 07:38 Do you think we could invent something? 09:53 What's something that you wish existed? 10:59 Parachute for airplanes 11:59 Things that got invented by accident 13:40 Microphones, microwaves & mirrors 17:24 How they invented the internet 18:27 Void in the marketplace 20:42 Cryogenics & embryos 23:49 Lower back 25:00 The best invention of all time 27:29 This is a dot org 29:25 Jack Black’s mom 29:48 The laws of the universe 30:54 The Doomsday Clock 33:18…

Nick Kroll comes over to hang. We talk about how Nick became a pillar of the comedy landscape. We talk about Big Mouth, fashion, Jeremy Allen White's belly button, getting pantsed in 7th grade, whether Dave feels competitive towards Nick, Benny's wedding force field, and Dave and Benny's 2 biggest fights of all time. Later, we draw Dave's d*ck. Thanks for watching - we respect you! What happens: 0:00 Intro 0:24 $100 smoothie 2:14 Immersive experience at Mel’s diner 3:16 Abs 5:07 The comedy movie of your life 6:13 Nick’s family 7:20 One of the leads 8:20 Creative origins 9:31 High school / college 11:25 Pressure to be “on” 14:08 How Nick builds a voice 17:19 Healthy competition 20:10 Hang tones 22:19 Pillar of the comedy landscape 25:37 Getting pantsed in 7th grade 27:13 Drawing Dave’s d*ck 29:36 Benny’s wedding forcefield 32:01 Benny’s bombing story 33:53 How Benny asks questions 35:02 Peeing the bed 35:53 Fun, fear, anxiety & anger 38:41 Parenthood 40:02 Voices during sex 42:03 Benny’s voice 42:52 Big Mouth…

Lizzo comes over. We talk about Prince, losing our virginities, winning Grammy's, the best and worst days of Lizzo's life, idolizing Allen Iverson, and holding in farts. At one point Lizzo shows us her flautist skills and scores our fake movie trailers. Then we freestyle and things get very inappropriate so probably don't watch this with your parents! Unless you have that kind of relationship I guess. Thanks for watching - we respect you! What happens: 00:00 Intro 01:43 Germs 02:31 Fart gender dynamics 03:24 Half Detroit half Houston 04:27 The coolest voice 05:04 Mike Jones’ phone number 05:46 Hashiba 05:59 How it all happened 08:51 Performing while multi-tasking 10:09 The worst day of Lizzo's life 11:50 The best day of Lizzo's life 13:25 Talents 17:10 Flute 19:08 Improvised movie trailers 20:43 D*ckhole flute 21:09 How Lizzo met her boyfriend 23:11 DM slides 25:13 Dave in high school 27:38 Saying Denzel wrong 28:42 Dave's overnight camp deception 29:24 Prince 32:58 Regrets 34:48 Kristin wore pullups til 13…

VIEWER WARNING & LEGAL DISCLAIMER HEALTH & SAFETY WARNING The activity depicted in this program carries serious and potentially life-threatening health risks, including but not limited to choking, aspiration, gastric rupture, electrolyte imbalance, cardiac stress, and death. THIS PROGRAM DOES NOT CONSTITUTE MEDICAL OR NUTRITIONAL ADVICE. Nothing depicted or stated herein should be construed as a recommendation, endorsement, or instruction to engage in any similar activity. DO NOT ATTEMPT. By continuing to view this program, you acknowledge that you do so voluntarily and that the studio and all affiliated entities expressly disclaim all liability for any harm, injury, loss, or damage arising from or related to the content of this program or any attempt to replicate the activities shown. --- Dave says he can gain ten pounds in two hours. Benny says there’s no chance. They decide to settle it the only way that makes sense: with a bet. What follows is a rollercoaster discussion about math, pizza weight,…

Kevin Gates comes by and hangs for a while. We talk about discipline, relationships, energy, and the mindset he tries to live by. It goes from funny to serious and back again pretty quickly. It was a truly special afternoon! Thanks for being here! What happens: 00:00 Famous Kevins 02:33 Half man, half amazing 03:31 Heartbreak 06:23 Semen retention & sexual transmutation 09:55 Unibrow 10:39 Pubes 11:38 Blessed 12:38 Kevin’s favorite rapper 13:30 Titty man 14:54 Marriage 16:07 Jealousy 17:13 Top-tier white expressions 18:50 High school 19:38 Mothers 22:09 Punched in the face 24:53 Sex, love & trauma bonds 26:57 Kevin’s book collection 28:50 Prison 32:27 Dinosaur dck 36:49 Ass 38:36 Billboard's 8th-ranked producer 40:17 Kevin’s process 41:53 Siberian lynx 43:35 Lil Dick Gates 45:57 Dinosaur dck (part 2) 48:02 Benny’s favorite scenario 50:33 Food 53:20 Farts 55:40 Movies 57:05 Mushy 01:01:43 Friends Thanks to Domino's for sponsoring this episode: PRICES HIGHER IN SOME LOCATIONS. Valid online through 4/6. Visit…

Ed Sheeran stops by the house to talk about how he met Dave, being clumsy, sailing across the ocean with Benny, whether his kids know he’s Ed Sheeran yet, his Game of Thrones backlash, and how he acquired the Edward Scissorhands hands. Later he writes a song with all of us. It’s a really special moment. Thanks for watching! What happens: 00:00 Teaser 00:34 What's this Chuck stuff 02:01 How Dave met Ed 03:48 Exercise & personal hygiene 06:24 Ed's clumsiness 09:26 English food vs American food 10:58 Ed's town 15:20 Creepy baby 17:28 Ed & Benny on the boat 18:19 Fame 27:07 Anxiety 32:18 Best & worst days of Ed's life 35:18 Ideal headline 39:17 Dave's movie 43:14 Ed's memorabilia collection 47:54 Ed's Game of Thrones backlash 49:20 Dave's sh*t story 52:41 Ed Sheeran shows 01:06:01 Ed's songwriting 01:08:44 Ed writes a song Thanks to Domino's for sponsoring this episode: PRICES HIGHER IN SOME LOCATIONS. Valid online through 4/6. Visit ⁠dominos.com⁠ for full offer details. Select this online only offer from…

We tried to write a proper description for this and couldn’t decide on what all to highlight so here’s a bunch. Selena comes over. At some point we decide to go through her DMs. We talk about her mental health. We get into her’s and Benny’s wedding. We talk about Taylor and the insanely thoughtful gift she gave Selena. There’s basketball. There are multiple arm wrestling contests with surprising end results. Selena bonks her head at one point. No one edits it out. It’s just us hanging out with our friend (and spouse). That’s really it. Thanks for watching, we appreciate you!! What happens: 0:00 Selena arrives + should we fake the knock 5:36 Benny comes up with Grace and Frankie 7:12 Going through Selena’s DMs 10:10 Dave is forced to eat a pickle 12:08 Mental health 17:38 Basketball 22:33 Selena entering Benny’s world 25:49 The best day of Selena’s life 27:15 The wedding 34:24 Benny cracks Selena’s back 35:37 The wedding pt 2 43:47 Children and family 47:05 Benny and Selena dating 49:12 Everyone loves Rihanna…

We’ve been writing this description for 15 minutes and haven’t made any real progress. It’s not even we, it’s just Dave here. All I can tell you guys, is that I’ve never had more fun doing anything in my life than when we’re recording these. Are we fun to hang out with? Who knows. All we can do is be our complete selves, live in the moment, and see what happens. Thank you for your time. We appreciate you!!!! what happens: 0:00 toilet cam cold open 1:32 what the hell is this show? 5:03 who are you supposed to be on camera? 10:12 the domino’s pizza fight begins 15:08 why everything feels awkward at first 20:04 benny vs bj novak vs reality 25:09 creative pressure and proving yourself 30:02 phone calls derail everything 35:11 cooking turns into chaos 40:07 the sauce argument escalates 45:03 fighting like real friends do 48:21 did the pilot actually work? Thanks to Domino's for sponsoring this episode: PRICES HIGHER IN SOME LOCATIONS. Valid online through 4/6. Visit dominos.com for full offer details. Select this…

Welcome to Friends Keep Secrets: a first-of-its-kind show from best friends benny blanco, Lil Dicky (Dave Burd), and Dave’s wife, Kristin Batalucco. With more than 18 hidden cameras rigged throughout Dave and Kristin’s LA home, the show brings viewers inside an intimate hang with the hosts' real-life friendships and the guests that pop in. This isn’t a formal interview show. They might cook, record a song, play a game, or simply hang out. Blending elements of a podcast, livestream, and sitcom, Friends Keep Secrets captures the magic of being in the room with the hosts and the people they cherish most. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.