James O'Brien's Mystery Hour

00:02 This is a Global Player original podcast. 00:08 This is LBC. From Global. Leading Britain's conversation. Mystery Hour with James O'Brien. 00:16 Oh, three minutes after 12 is the time you're listening to... Well, he just told you, didn't he? James O'Brien on LBC. Let's... 00:23 Let's do Mystery Hour from the start. Let's presume there are people listening who've got no idea what it is and set it up properly in a good old-fashioned way like what I used to do. Mystery Hour is your weekly opportunity to achieve the sort of satisfaction not available anywhere else on your radio. The mad thing is I was talking to my sort of capo de capi yesterday. I was sitting down with the people at the very, very top of the global radio tree and it is extraordinary to me that Misty Hour is held in such affection. 00:56 Right up and down the business, let alone the listenership, the audience, you and me and my colleagues. I don't know why, because it is on paper ridiculous. Someone rings in with a question and someone else rings in with an answer. And that's it. 01:10 And yet somehow, as you're about to discover if you haven't heard it before... 01:14 Magic happens in between those two positions. And I don't... I mean, you can't analyse this stuff, can you? It's like alchemy. It's like magic. You can't... You don't want to overanalyse it, otherwise you'd lose sight of it. But that is it, if you're new to it. That is the... 01:30 The principle. That is the modus operandi. And there are no real rules about what you can and can't ask. We used to have an antipathy towards motoring-based questions, but as with most things on this programme, we kind of oscillated between forgetting it and not being bothered to implement it. We don't like repetition, but to be fair, we've been doing it for so long now that it's almost impossible to get through an entire mystery hour without... including questions that have been asked and quite possibly answered before. More than once, actually. There is an archive, by the way, Global Player, where you can listen to old mystery hours to your heart's content, particularly at this time of year. 02:06 Particularly helpful, I'm told, when you've got the kids in the car and you're on long journeys. I know everybody's got their own devices these days and everyone's plugged into their... earphones and what have you but if you did want to have a communal listen on a long car journey then Mystery Hour is lovely actually because everyone can join in and then at the end of it you can all buy each other a game because there is now a game you can find out more about the game at mysteryhour.co.uk and indeed you can win a game there are two games there's a big old board game and there's a travel edition that's in a tin you can win that by providing my favourite contribution of the week. 02:41 And that is it. That's the rule. It's just my favourite. Full terms and conditions, because it is ostensibly a proper grown-up radio competition, can be found at lbc.co.uk. So, you know, very loose and poorly implemented rules about repetition and motoring. Other than that, anything that's got you puzzled. I mean, don't be silly. 03:02 Don't be silly. Don't send me messages pretending that you understand London when you live in Bolton. But don't be silly in terms of asking questions that clearly don't have answers. You must have faith and reasons to have faith, because you've got to have faith, the faith, the faith, in the existence of an answer. So, you know, I won't give you examples because then some joker will ring in and And ask it. And there's no room for mystic jimmery during this feature. It is facts and evidence only. 03:35 No clairvoyance, no predictions, none of that malarkey. And not a great amount of opportunity for Keith to press his little buttons either. 03:44 I think that's it. I think that's probably it. The rules for providing answers, you're not allowed to look anything up. God, I haven't done that rule for a long time. I think people work that out for themselves. It'd be a fairly ridiculous radio feature if you were allowed to look things up. So I'd just say, someone rings in and says, and then one and a half million people Google it and take it in terms to ring in and read out the answer. So if I suspect for a minute... that you're reading out your answer, you will not only be cut off immediately, you'll be banned from tuning into Mystery Hour for the rest of your life, actually. 04:19 For the rest of your life. There may be some early release. I haven't decided yet. We're having a review. But you will be banned in the first instance for the rest of your life. 04:29 I don't know how we implement that rule, but frankly I don't care, because you'll just be banned. You're barred. You're banned. So don't look things up. You have to know... 04:37 The answer. And I will ask you what your qualifications are, which gives you an opportunity to prove to me how you and that you did indeed know the answer. 12.07 is the time. 04:48 I've done the board game, I think. I've mentioned the game. I've given out the rules. T's and C's, lbc.co.uk and, of course, mysteryhour.co.uk. 04:58 Andy's in Lincoln to kick things off. Andy, question or answer? 05:02 Yes, question. Carry on. 05:04 Yeah, morning James. It's a strange one. The story is, I used to have a friend called Clive. Every time I gave him a peppermint at work, he started sneezing. And then my wife, I found out when she has a peppermint, she starts sneezing. And it got me thinking, well, we'd have this game every time she does it in the car. I call her a weirdo, but that's another thing. But is it because it doesn't taste a pepper? A peppermint makes people sneeze? 05:26 Well, it makes my wife sneeze. And Clive. 05:29 Not just your wife. Clive as well. 05:33 And I got thinking, is it like the Beano where they throw pepper out and everybody sneezes sliding on a banana? 05:38 So is a peppermint called a peppermint because it makes people sneeze like what pepper does? 05:43 Yeah, like in comics and stuff like that. I like this. As opposed to anything else, yeah. 05:48 Why else would it be called a peppermint? 05:50 Yeah, well, I've looked at different mints and they're all the same sort of shape, so I don't know if there's anything to do with it. 05:57 So, I mean, really, why is a peppermint called a peppermint? And if the answer turns out to be that it makes you sneeze like Peppa does, then everybody's happy. 06:05 Well, it doesn't make me sneeze. It's only weirdos like my wife. You can't keep calling her a weirdo. I thought you were on holiday. She should be having a nice old time. She's having a lovely time lying down. I'm just looking at Mount Vesuvius at the minute. Are you really? 06:17 Literally, yeah. That's not a figure of speech. You're in Pompeii. 06:21 So I love people who ring Mischar from their holidays. It speaks to the kind of bond that I was trying to describe at the beginning of this introduction. I mean, have you done the thing? Have you seen all the sort of bodies preserved and all that malarkey? No, we're going to do that tomorrow. 06:36 Are you? It nearly killed us going around Herculaneum because it's about a million degrees here. Yeah, it's tricky. I mean, I've been everywhere and it's hot, but oh God, it's hot here. 06:44 Yeah, well, not as hot as it would be if the volcano erupted, eh? 06:47 Well, it'll be all over quickly. I thought that dad joke deserved more, but he came back with another dad joke. Thank you, Andy. Why is a peppermint called a peppermint? And has it got anything to do with pepper? Jonathan's in Grantham. Jonathan, question or answer? 07:03 It's a question. Carry on. 07:06 I'm a football supporter, and a few years ago, my team got relegated to the National League, so we got to go to some places we hadn't been to before. 07:14 Are you still in the National League? 07:17 No, we only went down for one season. 07:19 We got promoted straight back up. Bad luck, because it means you won't be coming to Kidderminster this season. 07:25 No, but I think we've taken your best player because I support Grimsby Town. 07:29 Cheeky beggar, honestly. Well, I don't know if he's the best, but that is a cracking signing for you. He'll do a job for you. I'll tell you that for nothing. 07:38 I think he sounded like the Kidderminster Cafu from what I've read from Kidderminster supporters. 07:43 Well, we'll miss him, certainly. But, you know, I'm sure that we'll find someone to fill the gap. Go on. What's the National League-based question? 07:51 Well, I went to Boreham Wood away. 07:53 Oh, yeah. 07:55 And I've been there before. The last time I was in the National League. But I never noticed before that Boreham Wood, the town, is one word, 11 letters... 08:06 Borenwood the club is Boren space Wood. 08:10 And I just wondered why that is. 08:14 I like the question. 08:17 And of course, given that we're currently extolling the virtues of London, it's nice to have a question that comes very much from the bigger city of London. 08:27 London? 08:28 And the reason I'm... 08:29 I don't think Boreham Wood's in London, is it? 08:31 No, bigger, sort of. I mean, Elstry and Boreham Wood, I think of it as bigger. It's Zone 6. London! Well, it's Zone 6, it's London. London! I'm laughing because we've done this before and we did it relatively recently. I'm not expecting anybody else to remember or to have noticed that But I said at the top that we do some questions, you know, the repetition rule has fallen apart over the years. But you'd have thought that a question like that might have jogged a few memories in the production office before it got through to air, wouldn't you? We've done the Boreham Wood question quite recently. Maybe. 09:02 I'll tell you something, Jonathan. 09:04 I think it sticks in our head because of the football, Boreham Wood. I think for most people it could have been any town, but for some reason Boreham Wood always sort of jumps out of the table, doesn't it? Always jumps out of the... 09:18 Out of the fixtures and out of the results. 09:22 It's... I can't remember what the answer is. I think... Is the club two words and the town is one word? 09:29 Yeah, the town's one word. 09:30 Right, I know the answer to this. I don't know why, so there might be room for... It used to be the town was two words and they just smushed them together at some point in the last 50 years and the football club never changed. 09:45 Yeah, well, I sort of guessed that. I was more angling at why... Why did the town smush the two together? 09:55 And I did have a sort of an idea in my head, but it's just an idea. 09:59 Go on, what's your idea? 10:01 Well, the railway station is Elstery and Boreham Wood. 10:04 Yeah. 10:06 And the railway station is probably getting on for 180 years old now. 10:13 and wasn't called Elstree and Boreham Wood. So did the railway station get renamed Elstree and Boreham Wood? 10:21 Make them change the name of the town to Boreham Wood and then leave the football? 10:25 Yeah, because the railway station had the name. Did that... 10:29 Well, we'll find out. You want a more detailed answer than I've been able to provide. 30 minutes after 12 is the time. It has definitely been asked before, but that's not... And it's not a football question, Gareth, you silly man. It's a nomenclature question. It's a word question. It's a verbal question. It's a lovely question with a little side order of, well, not even non-league football, because Grimsby Town are in the football league. If you see him, Jonathan, give my regards to Joe, won't you? 10:57 I will do, yeah. 10:59 And he'll say, sorry, who? Never heard of him. But never mind, it's the thought that counts. 12.14 is the time. Matthew's in Lewisham. Matthew, question or answer? It's a question, James. Carry on, Matthew. 11:09 Me and my partner were driving in the street the other day and we saw a hedgehog sign and we were wondering how many hedgehogs had to cross the road before they get a sign. I understand school signs and stuff. Obviously there's schools nearby, but how many hedgehogs and how do they apply for a sign? 11:25 They are proper signs. They've got red borders on them and things. So danger, hedgehogs crossing. 11:31 Exactly. 11:33 And, of course, there's a chance anywhere in the world at any given point that a hedgehog could be crossing the road. Exactly. I mean, are there such things as hedgehog colonies? Do we know? 11:43 I do not know. I think of them as quite solitary creatures. 11:46 They're very prickly. 11:47 Yeah. I understand that you're supposed to leave a fence hole in your garden fence to let them cross there. 11:52 Yeah, yeah, yeah. I guess they just cross wherever they want. So what do you have to do to get a hedgehog crossing sign? Exactly. What has to happen for a hedgehog crossing sign to... To be put up. 12:03 Yeah. And also he's checking it if I was to report a couple of hedgehogs crossing. 12:07 Well, that's what I mean. It's an extraordinary question. It's a brilliant way. The more you think about it, the more dimensions this question has got. Exactly. You could get a snide hedgehog sign. Like you say, you could ring in as I've just seen a hedgehog crossing the road and then get put on a different voice. I've just seen a hedgehog crossing the road sign. 12:23 my sign there. 12:24 I put that one up. That's me. That's my work, that is. Let's move on. What else can we get? Maybe, I'll tell you what, I don't know, I'd get one of those ones where there's a motorbike flying over a car. What do you have to bring in to report there? Evel Knievel? You're on the list, Matthew. What do you have to do? I love that question. Boreham Wood, Peppermints and Hedgehogs. It's 12.15. 12:44 12.17 is the time! Why are peppermints called peppermints? Why is Boreham Wood two words in the football team, but one word with the town? And what do you have to do to get a designated sign on the road? What has to happen for a designated hedgehog's crossing sign? They're a relatively recent phenomenon, I think, but they definitely exist, and it's a superb question. It might have quite a morbid answer, now I come to think of it, but, you know, mystery... 13:12 Mr. Yair does not balk at anything. We will bravely pursue the truth regardless of the dangers. David is in Leamington Spa. David, question or answer? Hello, James. Hello, David. 13:25 Right. 13:26 Sitting in the garden one of these balmy evenings and the moon is moving across the sky and I think it's growing evening by evening. We'll have a full moon towards the end of the week. My question is, is it possible to gain any solar energy from the moon because it's reflecting the light of the sun? 13:54 Keith says no. 13:56 Okay, well... That's it. There you go. Round of applause for Keith. 13:59 No, stop it. Don't you dare. 14:00 Stop it! I mean... So you mean... 14:09 So it is definitely... I mean, the reason we can see the moon, as any fool know, is because sunlight is reaching it. 14:16 Mm-hmm. And therefore bouncing... No, no, because how's it going to... 14:22 i realize it would be obviously very very little but you're asking if there's a measurable should we say measurable yes okay because it's going to be probably a technically yes but we need to know for sure because you can actually measure it what would you use and what do we mean by solar energy do we mean light or heat we mean heat don't we no light i think do we i mean your solar panels don't work on light do they Or do they? I don't know much about solar panels, David. I've got to be honest with you. 14:53 I shouldn't have made that sweeping statement then. But they do seem to be more popular in hot countries, don't they? Not light countries. 14:59 Oh, well, that's just because the sky's clear, isn't it? Most of the time. Oh, I don't know. 15:04 Nor do I. That makes... That makes three of us. 15:07 By the way, James, my wife thinks you walk on water. Oh, I'm sorry. I promised I would say that. 15:12 Oh, that's lovely. What's your amazing wife's name? 15:15 Gloria. 15:15 Gloria, what a wonderful name. Perfect. Someone should write a song for her. And she's clearly got impeccable taste in men. 15:21 She's an ageing black lady who's got the hots for you. I won't go any further than that. 15:26 No, I don't think you should, frankly. Not before the watershed. 15:29 But please give my love to Gloria. It's a wonderful thing. 15:33 Thank you, David. Great talking to you. Thank you very much. My pleasure entirely. It's a lovely show today. There's too much love on the programme. It'll never catch on. The moon. Does the moon emit any solar energy as a consequence of the sunlight bouncing off the moon? And it has to be measurable. 15:49 And then the hedgehog's the peppermint in the ballroom would. 15:53 Mark's in Wimbledon. Questions like that. As soon as I speak, I make an idiot of myself. And that's good in a way because there are occasions, I'm told, I never really pick up on them myself, where apparently I can come across, and you might want to sit down for this, apparently I can sometimes come across as a bit of a know-it-all. 16:15 Thank you, Keith. And that's why, in many ways, it's a good thing, both for the general health of the programme and for my own ego, when we stumble into subjects about which I know absolutely nothing. The trick, of course, is to admit it, because it's when you pretend that you know things and you don't that you end up getting into trouble. 16:36 It is not mentioning any names. It's 21 minutes after 12. Mark's in Wimbledon. Mark, question or answer? It's a question, James. Carry on. 16:44 I was playing Red Dead Redemption 2 the other night. It's a good old game, isn't it? Lots of horse riding, as I'm sure you know. There is indeed lots of horse riding. And as I was galloping through the virtual fields and meadows, every so often I'd come round a bend and smash into another horse and die. 17:02 And it got me thinking, I was riding on the left, which in the UK would be the equivalent of driving on the left, and the horses always seemed to be on that other side. And that got me thinking, back in the day, did we have horse rules for which side you rode on, and do they translate perhaps to today's driving side? 17:22 And have I just snuck in a motoring question? 17:24 No, I mean, I love the idea that it's a motoring question, but... I mean, I... 17:31 I'm just wondering whether we had two lanes at all in those days, or whether you'd have to pull over if there was a carriage coming towards you. But then you sort of move into the realms of proliferation, don't you? And eventually, particularly on the streets of London with Hansom cabs and all the rest of it, you would have had a lot of vehicles on the road, and therefore there'd have had to have been a kind of right-of-way. So really, because you're only really allowed one question, but were there rules... 17:59 for which side of the road you should be on before there were cars. Exactly that. I love that question. 18:06 I know that, I mean, the thing about which sides you go on, I don't know if this is an urban myth or not, but it was a very early mystery. You know the bit about swords. Do you know that? 18:16 Strength of hand. But no, but also the sword was dangling on one side. So if you were crossing on a horse, you wouldn't want to clash swords. So you'd go on the left hand side and your sword would be on your left hip. Pull out. Yeah. Yeah. So that might be part of the answer, actually. 18:37 If it was horses even before it was carriages. So in the days of horses and or carriages, did we have a... Highway code, as it were. Yeah, highway code, as it were. What a lovely answer. Question even. Have you played the Bond game? Have you played the new James Bond game? 18:53 I've played a little bit. You've not got it, isn't it? 18:56 No, I'm in the industry, so I get bombarded with games, so it's time. Time, time, time, James. It is time, isn't it? And when you love something, it can take up. How old are your kids, if you don't mind me asking? 19:09 uh between 14 and 20 oh okay so you're still kind of on duty because mine now both finished but beyond a levels and i just caught myself the other day you know the thing comes up when you're on the title screen i just put 50 hours in on the bond game without even noticing it's like being 16 again two days with your kids i know it is i mean the day because when i was I can't care how old is the oldest now she's 20 so about 20 years ago I was like you I was writing video game reviews for the Daily Mail and I got sent absolutely everything as well like every game under the sun but it coincided in an incredibly cruel twist of fate it coincided with the first period of my life that I just didn't have hours to spare to play video games so it petered out but I'm back now and I'm back with a vengeance and that Bond game is absolutely brilliant as you know Thank you, Mark. 20:03 That's a lovely question. 20:05 Sarah is in Hackney. Sarah, question or answer? 20:09 Question. Carry on. 20:11 OK, some US voters register as Republicans, some register as Democrats. It means they can vote in primaries. But why do people register as independents? What is the benefit to them? 20:25 Can they not vote for independents in primaries? No, of course they can't, because there's only one candidate, isn't there? Thank you. 20:32 I'm just thinking out loud, Sarah. I'm thinking out loud. Are we 100% sure that you can register as an independent? Yes. Because I was going to say, well, it means you don't get badgered by the Democrats or the Republicans. But in a way, you're more likely to get badgered by the Democrats and the Republicans if you've registered. If independent means undecided or if it means something else in the context of American politics. Why would you? Why do you? Why can you register as an independent voter in the United States electoral system? 21:01 That's my question, yes. What's the benefit that they get? Why do they do it? 21:05 I love it. It's a great question. 21:06 I've never understood it, and I've researched it, and I can't find the answer. 21:10 Neither can your researcher. That's a little bit worrying, but someone might know. Let's see what we can do with it. 21:16 Thank you. I like that, Sarah. The independence. And, of course, the... There's one I haven't written down here. 21:24 Hedgehogs, boar and wood, peppermints, independence in the USA, the sun and the moon. It's because I got too distracted by it. Yeah, it's the horse and cart. I was too busy reminiscing about video games. What was his name? Was it David? 21:38 Mark. David was the moon question. Mark in Wimbledon was the horse's question. There we go. There's a professional somewhere inside this radio presenter fighting to get out. Kevin's in Welling. Kevin, question or answer? Question, please, James. 21:54 Yeah, go on, Kevin, when you're ready. Yeah, just a quick one. 21:58 I was driving back from Leeds this morning back to London. London? Indeed, yep. 22:05 You've got to use it. 22:09 Indeed. And I come across the M621. Oh, yeah. 22:14 This is a pure motoring question. 22:16 Who the hell put you through? It's about numbers. It's not about bloody numbers, mate. 22:20 It's about roads. 22:21 Language, please. 22:22 Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry to children listening as well. It's almost the holidays. 22:27 So basically, and I'm probably wrong, but I'm going to take a stab in the dark. There's not another 620 motorways in the UK. Yeah, but this is a pure motor. 22:35 Would you just excuse me for one moment, Kevin? Would you? Thank you. 22:40 I think the children are already on holiday, so I will watch my language even more than I usually do. Eleanor, who put this through? 22:48 Was it you or was it Martha? 22:50 Who put this through? 22:52 This is a pure motoring question. This couldn't be more motoring. Even if it was a question about how many miles to the gallon can you get in a 1.6-litre Ford Fiesta, it would not be... 23:02 I don't think it is. 23:03 But go on, then. So, I mean, is it not fairly obvious? Is it not an adjunct of the M62? No. 23:18 Really? I don't know. It's a motoring question. 23:20 I don't do motoring questions. Neither do I. That's why I'm asking about the numbering system. Otherwise, I'd know. 23:25 So we know that there aren't 620 motorways. So why is there an M621? This is why I don't do motoring questions. 23:31 Exactly. So why is it? Why has someone in the Inflipism decided to skip at least 200 motorways? 23:37 I hate you. I actually hate you because I'm going to give myself a round of applause for this. It is definitely a branch of the M62. 23:46 Is that definitive, though, James? 23:47 Yeah, it's definitive, yeah. 23:50 How so? What is your background? 23:51 Motoring expert. 23:53 Well, that was James May, I guess, isn't it? He's on later today. 23:56 I think he is on later. God, you're doing Tom Swarbrick's promotions for him. 23:59 I think James May is on later today with Tom Swarbrick. That's if he's off the golf course, I know that, isn't it? Indeedy doody. 24:06 I'm not going to take the round of applause. And I should, because it means someone can ring in and answer the question, which means we'll be going flipping motoring crazy. But, yeah, okay. 24:15 Don't do this again, Kevin, all right? 24:17 Well, to me, it's only the second question in 10 years, James. 24:20 Yeah, but, you know, don't do it again, even in 10 years. I don't want to... It's a pure... You could argue with the... 24:27 I don't want to get into a habit, you're right. 24:29 No, it's not. Oh, dear. Yeah. 24:33 There's a reason why I banned them, you see? You see? 24:37 Richard's in Bury St. Edmunds. Richard, question or answer? 24:40 Question, James. 24:41 Carry on. 24:43 Why do we have extra time in football but not in rugby? 24:49 How do you mean? 24:50 Well, we have obviously injury time in football. 24:55 Injury time or extra time, that's what I was clarifying. 24:57 Sorry, injury time. So we have like three minutes added on, six minutes added on. But in rugby, when it reaches 80 minutes, that's it. The rest stops the watch during an injury. 25:10 No, he doesn't. They play on until there's a natural break in play in rugby union. 25:16 I know, but when there's an injury, if you look at the stopwatch on the top left-hand side, the clock stops. But in football, the clock carries on. 25:24 Oh, I see what you mean. I don't know. I mean, I presume it's because in rugby, the injury is much more likely to take a heck of a long time than it is in football. 25:33 I only thought about it because the amount of goals that are scored in added time. 25:37 Yes. So I don't know. I mean, your analysis is correct, but it's a good question, I suppose. So why don't they stop the watch? 25:48 All he has to do is stop the watch in football and then there's no time taken up by the injury. It's 90 minutes all day long. 25:57 Whereas they do it in rugby and it works fine. So why is it we don't do it in football? 26:01 They do sometimes stop the watch in football. 26:05 Do they? I think so. 26:07 Oh, OK. 26:08 I could be wrong. I mean, it's not the bit I'm paying the most attention to, to be honest. 26:13 I've never had a game of football that I've seen or heard of that's gone no extra time. 26:18 So the ball's out of play in rugby, the watch stops, when it's out of play at all, if it goes over the line, so you get exactly 80 minutes of play. 26:27 Yeah, but including injury or... 26:29 So why don't they do the same in football? 26:30 In football, yeah. 26:32 Okay, yeah, that's all right. So why do rugby and football treat injury time differently? 26:38 Yeah, and it'd be interesting to see if anyone done the analysis goals cancelled in extra time where Aragon would have finished? 26:47 No, it wouldn't. 26:48 It would. No, it wouldn't. 26:50 It would not be remotely interesting. Seriously, it'd be up there with questions about the M621. That's how interesting it would be. 26:57 Oh, get not in. It's 12.31. You're listening to James. Amelia Cox has your headlines. 27:04 So just in case you thought I was exaggerating when I was talking about how important it is to acknowledge things you know nothing about, I just had a crack at talking about the stopwatches in football and in rugby there a moment ago. And judging by my inbox, got absolutely everything wrong, which, of course, leaves the field open for you to step up and provide a definitive answer to that question. Other questions still waiting for answers. It's all of them, really. Why are peppermints called peppermints? Has it got anything to do with pepper? Why is Boreham Wood the football team? Two words, when Boreham Wood the town is now one. 27:34 Hedgehogs. How do you get a hedgehog crossing designated road sign? What needs to happen? Sounds like the first line of a joke. Can you get any solar energy from the moon, from the sunlight that is being reflected onto the moon? Why do some American voters register as independents? 27:51 Did you have a highway code before you had cars? So when it was all horses or horses and carts or carriages, did you have to go on the right or the left like you do now? 28:01 And finally, the one about the watches in the football and the rugby. Dave's in Newcastle. Dave, question or answer? 28:08 Question, please. Carry on. Hiya. Hello, Dave. Well, first-time caller, so obviously very, very nervous, and I know it's just us two that I talk, so there's no need to be nervous. Exactly that. 28:19 Just you and me, chewing the fat, shooting the breeze. Away we go. 28:23 All right. I was watching a TV programme last week about fiddler crabs. 28:30 Oh, yes. 28:31 And I was just wondering when male fiddler crabs fight each other. 28:37 Phew. 28:38 Do they only fight crabs with the large claw on the same side as theirs? 28:48 Or can they fight against crabs with the large claw on the opposite side? 28:55 Do they definitely do the large claw on both sides, fiddler crabs? 29:00 That was kind of a second question. Are they all right-handed with the large claw on the right hand, or do you guess... fiddler crabs with the large claw on the opposite side. 29:13 Because if that happens, then it's just the large claw kind of bashing up against the other large claw. 29:19 Do they fight a lot? I didn't see this documentary. Do they fight a lot, the fiddlers? They should really be called fighting crabs. 29:25 Well, yes. 29:26 Why are they called fiddler crabs? Because they look like violinists? 29:30 Possibly. I think it is. 29:31 I'm just looking at a picture of one now. I bet it is, you know. 29:34 Yeah. But in all of the fight scenes on the documentary, they were all up against crabs with the large claw on the same side. 29:48 I've got left-handed and right-handed ones up on the screen, but you never know what the photograph could have been reversed, couldn't it? So what's the question? 29:58 The question is, does a right-handed fiddler crab only fight against another crab? Right-handed fiddler crab? 30:06 No, of course not. 30:07 No? 30:08 I mean, what are they fighting about, Dave? 30:11 Probably women. 30:14 Yeah, exactly. But if the claws are on the same side as they oppose each other, all they're going to do is kind of bump the claw against each other. 30:26 No, it's like playing, you know, do you remember thumbsies? Do you remember playing thumbsies at school? 30:30 Yeah, yeah. 30:31 It's like that. So you might think that you're going to be nipping around the side and trying to slide around the back and trying to slide, you know, it's all... 30:38 But would you play thumbsies, if you're right-handed, would you play thumbsies against somebody who's using their left hand? Because it wouldn't work properly. 30:46 Oh, yeah, all right. That analogy didn't. No, no, no, no. That means my analogy was bad. It doesn't mean you're clever. It was just a bad analogy. 30:53 No, no, I'm not clever. You are very clever. 30:57 But, I mean, I just can't conceive of the evolutionary world in which if you were a left-handed fiddler crab, you're going to be safe from right-handed fiddler crabs. And they're not going to fight you for mates or territory or food. 31:11 You maintain a balance between left and right-handed. But, I mean, it's just infeasible. 31:17 It's implausible. You'd just be, oh, I'm going to kill you. I'm going to kill you. Oh, no, I'm not. It's all right. You're left-handed. You carry on there. 31:23 Yeah, and then you walk away, and then you're all right. 31:26 Yeah. 31:26 It could be some genetic mutation to ensure the survival of left-handed fiddler crabs. 31:32 I mean, technically, it could, Dave. It could, technically. But I don't think it is, mate. 31:37 Well, maybe not. 31:38 So do they all have... the big claw on the same side and if not do they only ever fight the crabs who do have it on the same side as them yeah flipping heck mate They didn't cover this in the documentary? No, they didn't. They didn't. Well, that's it. I'm not paying my licence fee. 32:00 In their scientific investigation. 32:01 I'm not paying my licence fee ever again. What do they think they're playing out with this kind of poxy, half-baked analysis of fiddler crab claws? 32:10 It wasn't a David Attenborough documentary. Obviously. 32:13 Obviously. Well, I bet it wasn't Chris Packham either, was it? 32:17 Actually, it was. Oh, no! I'm sure it was. 32:20 Then I missed it then, because I've watched a couple of episodes of that. And it's brilliant, Evolution, the new Chris Packham one. Yeah, I know, I know. 32:29 I'm a big fan of him. 32:30 Yeah, definitely. But he hasn't covered the big old claws on the big old... No, that was an oversight on his behalf. Possibly not, then. 32:41 12.40 is the time. So a fiddler crab, if you're not familiar and you haven't managed to work it out for yourself during that conversation, is like a normal crab but with one massive claw on one side. 32:54 And what we need to know is whether or not the massive claw is always on the same side. And if it isn't, do they fight... 33:03 The ones on the other side. 33:07 Ah, man. 33:09 It is 20 to 1. You're listening to James O'Brien on LBC. Wayne's in Basel. Ah, how did you... Everyone's getting through today. 33:16 Question or answer. 33:18 We've got a WhatsApp group. You're using up a phone line that somebody... 33:23 No, but this is really important because it's not in my magic book, as Scott calls it. 33:28 Go on, then. This is the Brewer's Dictionary of Phrase and Fable. 33:32 But firstly, there are no thermostats on the side of photovoltaic solar panels. There's a little clue there for it. 33:40 So it's all about the light, nothing to do with heat. I'm an idiot. 33:43 Yeah, well, yeah, I could have told you that many times. 33:46 We knew that. Go on, then. Question or answer? 33:48 It's a question, and it's to the... 33:52 the phrase jinx when you say something at the same time as someone else and you go oh jinx and you can't say anything until someone says your name yeah if you also add now if the youngsters have told me jinx padlock one two three you you can't speak something something but anyway yeah everyone is familiar but they are now familiar with what you're describing when you say something at the same time one of us goes jinx and the other one has to stay silent 34:16 Yeah, because I thought, I'm going to have a look in my book, because I was reminded from you digging me out from last week's Mystery Hour. 34:24 You weren't on last week's Mystery Hour. 34:26 No, no, no. I forgot it was on. I was looking in the WhatsApp group. I was like, what's going on here? 34:30 Oh, no, that's correct, yes. It's a bit niche, this. There's only four of us in the WhatsApp group. I don't know that it plays well to the other 1.49694. According to you, it's only us talking. Yeah, but that's true. Yeah, don't get nervous, Wayne. You carry on, mate. It's only me. 34:47 Yeah, because me and the missus did it the other day and I was like, oh, I must look that up. And I forgot about it until Mystery Hour started today. I looked it up and I was like, it's not there. 34:56 It's not there. The origin of jinx. 34:59 Where does it come from? 35:01 I like it. 35:03 Speaking of our WhatsApp group, Scott's very excited that you got through. Gary's probably up a ladder somewhere. But the story that you shared about, let me get the time absolutely right, about the story that you shared about 20 past nine this morning about how other programs handle the LBC switchboard. 35:28 Yeah. I shared that with Eleanor. She was tickled pink. That's a good story. That's a very, very good story. But obviously this is appalling radio because there's no way I can share it on air because it would involve doing that thing that I've been boasting all morning about never doing, which would be critiquing colleagues or allowing criticism of colleagues. 35:49 You're on, all right? 35:50 I'm going to answer. 35:52 You what? 35:53 Yeah, I will. I'll get you a jinx. 12.43 is the time. And that is the first and last mention live on air by two members of one of my WhatsApp groups, of the WhatsApp groups, because there's nothing more annoying than saying, oh, I can't say this on air. It's a bit like, you know, I had a colleague once and she would very often say, oh, you'll never guess what. And I'd go, what? And she'd go, oh, I can't tell you. 36:17 I'm lying. 36:19 I still have the same colleague, actually. It's Eleanor. It's one of the things she does a lot. You've stopped doing it recently, haven't you? Did you make an effort to stop doing it? You did. Good. Nothing more annoying. Oh, you'll never guess what happened to Keith yesterday. What happened to Keith? I can't tell you. What do you mean you can't tell me? That's a stupid conversational gambit. It's a cruel one as well. But it's up there with me saying, oh, Wayne put something hilarious in our WhatsApp group this morning, but I can't tell you what it is. So I'll never do that again. Well, or I'll tell you what it is, because I do sometimes struggle to self-regulate when it comes to sharing things on the radio, but I'll try not to, for the time being. 36:56 We need some answers. Holly's in Epsom. Holly, question or answer? 36:59 I've got an answer. 37:00 Oh, hallelujah. What is it? 37:01 It's a boring word. 37:02 Carry on. 37:04 So the answer is when it was formed in 1948, the club, the town's name was two words, and then it was changed to one, but the football club took the decision just to keep the name as two words. 37:15 Why did they change it to one? Do we know? 37:17 We don't know, apart from the fact that it could just look neater rather than one long word. So there could be discussions. 37:23 Yeah, I mean, this is... What was the name of the fellow that asked the question? Jonathan thought maybe it had something to do with when they... Put the sign up at the railway station. Elstree and Boreham Wood. 37:35 Elstree and Boreham Wood would look weird. You'd wonder whether there was a comma missing or another and missing or something like that. So they made it all one word. 37:43 Yeah. We get the questions all the time. 37:46 Do you? 37:46 Yeah. 37:47 Well, that means I have to ask you what your qualifications are. 37:50 So my granddad, Peter Smith, is the club president. 37:54 How long has he been the club president? 37:56 for two years, and his first job was press secretary in 1966. 38:00 So he's Boreham Wood, born and bred. 38:03 Yeah, he is. 38:03 He's got it running through his veins, Boreham Wood. Yeah. I'm just going to have to consult with Keith. So how many grandchildren has Grandad Peter got? 38:13 He's got two. 38:14 Ten. Two. Oh, two. Oh, okay. So it's a question about Boreham Wood. Sigh. 38:25 And the answer has been provided by one of the current president's two grandchildren. He's only got two grandchildren. I'm going to do a quick hands up. Does that get a radio? It does get a radio to doesn't it? Hang on. No, let's not. Let's not. Why couldn't he ring in himself? 38:42 He just couldn't get on the phone. 38:44 A club like Boreham Wood, he's probably putting out the lines, isn't he, for the first match of the season? 38:51 Wembley was great, though. 38:53 Yeah, all right, don't rub it in. So Meadow Park, isn't it? Meadow Park, Boreham Wood. I think we're coming to see you this season, aren't we, Kidderminster? We'll be playing in the same... 39:02 In the same league, aren't we? Aren't we playing? Yeah. In the National League, we will, yeah. Well, excellent. I'll be there. I expect the full prawn sandwich treatment now, you know, because I'm giving you one of these. 39:12 I'm Ray Liotta, and you're listening to James O'Brien on LBC. 39:16 If you build it, they will come. 39:21 There it is. I mean, to be fair to Jonathan, he could ring in next week and say, yeah, I know, but why did they mush the two together when the town was two words and then became one? But that's a lovely answer with a perfect, perfect provenance. 39:36 It is 12.49 and you are listening to James O'Brien on LBC where Mystery Hour continues. 39:43 Robert's in Yeovil. Robert, question or answer? 39:46 I have an answer for you, sir. Carry on, sir. 39:49 The independent voter thing, there's no specific advantage to it. What you are doing is you are telling both parties that you are not completely aligned with the platform that they're running on. 40:05 But doesn't that make them both more likely to pester you? 40:10 To a point, yes. But what it means is you can only be pestered at certain times anyway. 40:16 Oh, I didn't know that. 40:18 And the other thing is that when you get into the voting booth, you can vote for whoever you want regardless. 40:23 Of course you can. And I suppose you register in order to send a message to your own people that there's no point wasting time knocking on this door because you've already got our vote or you've already definitely not got it. Whereas if you're an independent, you're saying, come and show me what you got, guys. 40:36 Yeah. Basically, stand up. Let me see what you got. Because you're voting for the person, not the party, which that is a weird concept over here that I realized. But there's a lot of people who have pulled themselves out of that entire complex and said, I'm not saying that I'm a Tory or a Lib Dem or a Labour Party. I'm saying that I am... 40:58 A person who is going to look at who you are, what you stand for, okay, fine, I will vote for you because of that. 41:04 Okay. Okay, I get it, I get it. Qualifications? 41:08 I'm a 51-year-old American. 41:11 That'll do. 41:11 I've voted in every election that I have been registered for. 41:16 So when I read about a swing state, how are they calculated according to registered voters, or are they calculated by another metric? 41:26 A bit of both, really. They're calculated by independent voters, but swing states are one. So if, for example, a Democrat will never win in Texas. 41:35 Sure. 41:37 But if you're in a swing state, they are more likely to look at the platform you're presenting rather than just being, I'm blindly voting for this party. 41:49 So they've just got more open-minded people, in a sense. 41:54 Yeah, basically. To a point, I mean, obviously that's a delicate term in the sense of, There's always going to be some who will 100% vote one way, 100% vote the other, and they have done since the dawn of time. 42:09 But then there's enough people in there who will just say, right, forget that. I'm going to look at the people, look at what they stand for personally, what they're presenting, and choose them instead. 42:22 Love it. That's a lovely answer. Thank you, Robert. Have a round of applause. 42:26 Thank you very much. 12.52 is the time. Callum's in Wantage. Callum, question or answer? 42:32 It's an answer, please, James. Carry on, Callum. 42:34 It's an answer to questions about the side of the road and highway acts and such like. I think you probably hit the nail on the head with why it was the left side of the road. It was probably... where they were carrying swords whilst riding a horse. 42:52 It might be apocryphal, that. But do we know that there was a designated side? Well, that bit makes sense. 42:59 What we do know is that there were things like the Turnpike Act, highway and byway laws and things like that, which would have governed the use of public highways, at least. There would still have been private highways throughout the country. But the reason I called regarding... 43:19 The sides of the road specifically is I worked for several years in a historic pub in Devon, which was on the side of the Mariner's Way. Oh, yes. Which was the first lit highway in the UK. It went from Bristol to Plymouth. 43:38 Wow. 43:38 And it was used by mariners who would miss the boat. 43:43 in Bristol, they would travel along the road down to Plymouth to catch the boat. 43:50 We know that they would, if they couldn't afford the horse and carriage, they would walk and they would sing sea shanties and things like that. There's a huge tradition in the centre of Devon of sea shanties because of that. 44:03 And if you follow the bits of the road that are still there, including through the village that I used to work in, where the pub that I was in was, and it was a coaching inn, And you can at least follow it from east of Exeter, from it and then through Exeter and down as far as Tavistock. 44:21 Right. 44:22 And most of the villages will still have a coaching inn or a pub as it is now on either side of the road. Really? So one would have been for people who were going in one direction and one would have been for people going in the other direction. 44:37 I don't imagine that the tavern or the coaching inn owners would... be too upset about someone going into the pub over the road if you can guarantee that they're coming back. 44:47 But why would they need to do that? Why could they not just turn in? Because the roads aren't going to be that busy, are they? I mean, you're going to be able to swing a left or swing a right and go into the other one. 44:56 I mean, it could be... 44:58 it could be to do with traffic it could be to do with the the mechanics of turning a horse i'm not an equestrian no no if you've got like if it's a stagecoach and you've got four or four or six horses in front of it then maybe it is really i don't know and anyways you've done it you've answered the question you've witnessed it which way was it which was it the left side going forward or the right side going forward In terms of... Well, judging whether, you know, which side of the road would the carriages have been on, the same that we're on now, they would have been on the left. 45:30 I would think so because of, like you said, with the sword thing and things like... like that, and the fact that we still drive on the left, it would make sense. I think so. That we've probably carried that on. 45:40 But it was designated. I like that. Qualifications? You've kind of told us, but put it in a sentence. 45:44 Bit of a history nerd and used to work in a historic pub on the Mariner's Way. Bingo. Round of applause for Callum. 45:49 Lovely stuff. Thank you very much. Stephen's in Manchester. Stephen, qualifications? I beg your pardon. Questioner, I got up a bit early, wasn't it? Question or answer? 45:58 It's an answer. It's nice of a caller from press, which is not Councillor Allen, I suppose. 46:04 Everyone's a producer these days. Go on, then. 46:07 It's an answer to the rugby football time, injury time. 46:12 I mean, I can only speak for one code, particularly rugby, which is rugby league, because I do have a season ticket holder at a Super League club, so I attend matches most weeks. 46:21 There's an independent timekeeper in rugby league, so the referee stops the watch, signals for him to stop the watch. 46:28 Every single stoppage of the captain's challenge. 46:31 Of course, because there's so many stoppages. 46:33 Yeah, so it's more and more stop-start. In football, the referee is the arbiter of the time. When I was refereeing back in the day, 20-odd years ago now, I used to have two watches. I did stop one when I was having a chat to a player or a substitution or whatever. When that bleeps, that gives you your injury time because your other watch has been running. You can see it's three minutes over, five minutes over, whatever. That's your injury time. 46:58 But in other leagues, more stoppages. Having said that, At the minute, it's a bit of a contentious thing with the stoppages in Rugby League. I attended a game the other week that's 18 minutes long. It kicked off at 3 o'clock. And with all the stoppages, it finished at 5.15. 47:11 Good Lord, really? 47:13 Yeah, and there was a match apparently in Super League the other week. Kicked off the exact same time as a World Cup game and finished 15 minutes after it. 47:19 Good grief. I mean, it's surprising, but not shocking. 47:24 I should have realised at the answer, because it would apply in Union as well. There are just way more stoppages in rugby than there are in football. 47:31 Yeah, it doesn't flow as well or as quickly, should I say. 47:34 Yeah, quickly you can have. You can't have well. That's opening up a right old box of Pandora. Absolutely. 47:41 I love that. Salford Red Devils, is it that you follow? No, Lee Leopards. Oh, OK. Have you seen the news about Paul Rowley this morning? 47:50 I just saw it whilst I was listening to you earlier on. That's Lee Colch, of course. Yeah, it's a turn-up, isn't it? And he was a year below me at school as well. Was he really? He was indeed, yeah. 47:58 There's no sport like Rugby League when it comes to family and community, is there? There's nothing like it. 48:04 I love that. Qualifications? 48:07 You've told us, but tell us again. 48:08 I did that well. I've seemed to get older at Lee, so I watch, 48:11 rugby league every week and also have been I was a qualified football referee back 25 years ago that's pretty good round of applause for Stephen lovely stuff squeezing Flo in Brighton I don't know if I can yeah go on then quickly Flo question or answer 48:25 answer to your fiddler crabs. 48:27 Yes. 48:28 It's about a 50-50 even split within the male population of fiddler crabs in terms of the laterality on the left or the right. Seriously? Yeah, so they have sexual dimorphism. The males are the ones with the big claws and it's about 50-50 split. 48:41 And do they fight with each other? Does a right claw fight with a left claw? 48:44 Basically, it's to do with how they square each other up. So they run down into their burrows and they actually use drumming to ascertain how big each other are and how big the burrows are. So they'll base it upon how big they are in proportion to each other. But it kind of does make sense that, yes, the way they angle themselves when they wave at each other tends to be left to right. 49:01 You are joking. So you had a point. 49:04 Yeah, pretty much. 49:05 No, it wasn't David. Who was it? It was Dave. I've had a David and a Dave today. It was Dave in Newcastle watching his documentary, coming up with all sorts of jibber-jabber, and he was actually on to something. 49:15 Well, there's a whole department at the University of Exeter who are doing research on fiddler crabs. 49:19 There you go, Dave. You heard it here first. Qualifications, Flo? 49:23 My master's thesis was on percussive behaviour in Afrika Tangeri, the fiddler crabs, in the Algarve. 49:29 Oh, when's the last time we had two in one day? Asma, could you spare me one minute? Do you mind? Of course. Are you sure? Yeah. Because this is quite... I mean, your actual master's thesis was on fiddlers, crabs, claws. 49:40 Yeah, but I was specifically on the... We've discovered that they're using drumming to communicate, so they wave at each other on the beach. But what they're actually doing, I defined... I'm the first person to do it, not to gloat. Shut up. I defined three specific types of drumming that they're actually doing at each other, and I defined what each one meant. Hmm. 49:57 Oh, I don't know. I mean, this is just absolutely a shoo-in. 50:01 I'm Ray Liotta, and you're listening to James O'Brien on LBC. 50:06 If you build it, they will come. 50:11 You thought your masters would never come in useful, didn't you, Flo? 50:14 I know, you know, I'm kind of using it. I do marine science now. 50:17 I'm joking. It's one o'clock. What a lovely episode of Miss Jack. Can we give Flo a game as well, I think? Or David Newcastle, actually. I've said Flo now. I've got a bias here. I said it to Sheila the other day. I give way more games out to women than men. Do I not? Eleanor says I don't. Spoil sport. Anyway, that's it from me for today. I'll spare you the rubric because I'm running a bit late. And Asma Mia is here. 50:38 This has been a Global Player original production.